#hilssays "I'm not gonna be your goose!"

#hilssays "I dont like hairy ones and i don't like curly ones!"

#hilssays "Stu! Say 'stick it up your bum!'"

#hilssays I had two young girls taking pictures of my shaft last night

#hilssays "don't break my shaft!"

#hilssays "Just put Gon on a rope!"

#hilssays "I do love Valerie"

#hilssays its all about the movement!

#hilssays "I know all the sluts"

#hilssays "We need to have that furniture talk!"

#hilssays "No one kills with four belts!"

#hilssays "As soon as you start thinking about bollocks..."

#hilssays "I'm not you! I don't take lube into the barracks!"

#hilssays "i got knocked off a pole twice"

#hilssays I've got a lot of sluts following me

#hilssays "I did it once and it really hurt!"

#hilssays "you just can't hire kids anymore!"

#hilssays "Let's share a baby"

#hilssays "If you're gonna get in bed with someone, you may as well get some cash out of it!"

#hilssays (to Gon) "I'm going back to bed, do you want to join me?"

#hilssays "you could easily break a kiddies jaw with one of those guns!"

#hilssays "it needs to be thicker!"

#hilssays "Did you want to stay and have fun?"

#hilssays "come on, its me or your girlfriend!"

'is that a dress or a two-piece?' #Hilssays #2sisters0brothers

#hilssays look at that dick!

#hilssays "How wet did you get?"

#hilssays "It's OK, they've got a back entrance!"

#hilssays "girth is better than my tongue growing"

#hilssays "You drive better when you're drunk!"

#hilssays "It's all about the sausage!"

#hilssays "That's scary as well, but i'll take it!"

#hilssays "I love how you sprayed either side of me!"

oh hey, we missed the celebratory mark of 200 quotes on #hilssays http://bit.ly/hilssays

#hilssays "did you just touch me?"

#hilssays "Are you saying sex is like time travelling into the future?"

#hilssays "I wasn't stalking, I was just curious!"

#hilssays "Logic's doing my head in!"

#hilssays "I'm curious!"

#hilssays "I saw a sign once that said 'rape house'"

#hilssays "I don't touch the hands of grannies!"

#hilssays "its all about percentages!"

#hilssays "Give her the joystick! give her the joystick!"

#hilssays "its dripping, its dripping... oh missed it..."

#hilssays "I don't know what age I was when I worked out what gay people were!"

#hilssays "Is there something leaking in your drawers?"

"Kiss my helmet" #hilssays

"Only 19% of people have a bigger cock than you" #hilssays

#hilssays "I need my own wardrobe space!"

#hilssays "I'm looking for pumps..."

"Not as big as Dave's" #hilssays

"Oh, flipping heck! Push and pull, pull and push!" #hilssays

#hilssays "I'm gonna tweet them tomorrow!!"

#hilssays "I saw his fat!"

#hilssays "I'd look good with a vaseline lenses"

#hilssays "I'm an honest guy!"

#hilssays "Those fingers really hurt me!"

#hilssays "Why won't you extend?!"

Oh My God... Daniel O Donnell was MASSIVE #Hilssays

#hilssays "You didn't say no at the time!"

#hilssays (to Phil) "You sex me!"

I can't think of a country that wouldn't have lip balm. #hilssays

#hilssays "it's a bit damp, but it still works!"

#hilssays "I've got a wet one if you want it?"

@byr0nic I can't #hilsSays meself... that's not how i roll innit

@lergik mate, put a #hilssays at the end of that sh*t! ;-)

#gonsays "I want manual massaging!" #hilssays "You always want manual massaging!"

#hilssays "Hold on... I am reading about your erection"

#hilssays "you like it because of the smell!"

#hilssays "God that's tight"

#hilssays "I dont need a belt, i'm too fat"

#hilssays "it takes a while to load!"

#hilssays "Just google 'gay guy'"

#hilssays "did she burn her boobs?"

#hilssays "cough, cough, wrong pipe!"

@philclandillon @lpbarrows @lergik when #hilssays goes awry... I think #philsays could be the new one though... ;-)

#hilssays 'I just know it, something happened that weekend; pipes and rats and shit!"

#hilssays "I didn't play with them, I threw them at Phil!"

#hilssays "can you buy dildo cloths? No."

#hilssays "I dont need love"

RT @lpbarrows: #hilssays "if you touch mine and touch stu's you'll see that stu's is much hotter!"

#hilssays "if you touch mine and touch stu's you'll see that stu's is much hotter!"

#hilssays "I had a wii remote in the bed!"

#hilssays "Wang on a minute!"

someone call a fire truck! RT @lpbarrows #hilssays "I'm so hot right now!" #tazsays

#hilssays "I'm so hot right now!"

RT @page23: @lergik #hilsays "i'm not talking about what i did last night with phil" #hilssays

Wow, loads of #hilssays action tonight. Got to be a record? @lergik

#hilssays "meat packing!"

#hilssays "hitler wasnt racist!"

#hilssays "Right! That's it, I'm not drinking anymore!"

#hilssays "I don't like melons"

"just because you stuck your hand up, doesn't mean you can ride me" #hilssays

Quick, drink the jaegar bombs, the women are waiting #hilssays

#hilssays "I'm a one man chauffeur! Fancy getting on my back?"

"I've got handcuffs and a Krispy Kreme bag!" #hilssays

#hilssays "you tried to rape me"

#hilssays "who stole my clothes?"

#hilssays "team goose!"

#hilssays "Well, it's better that than having a wank"

#hilssays "This is how I can rip your clothes off"

#hilssays " but he gets down and dirty"

#hilssays "I think the guys should come as strippers"

Tried earlier but don't think it worked. Christmas paedo #hilssays

"What? The sausage party?" #hilssays

#hilssays "I don't say 'willies and things'!"

RT @lergik: Probably the worst idea I've ever had. Trying mend my bad back with gravity boots. Mayday! #hilssays

#hilssays "your mum sounds lovely"

#hilssays "I'm gonna dethrone you"

#hilssays "its like a weird sex pentagon"

#hilssays "I'm a good deviant"

"Checkout the ghetto dog that came out the pussy spade" #hilssays

"girls don't hurt" #hilssays

"she just put some nuts in her mouth and went mad" #hilssays

#hilssays 'my helmet is getting wet'

#hilssays "its easy access but it easy to put back on"

RT @flash_g: "I wasn't looking at it [the porn site] I was just spreading the love" #hilssays

RT @lpbarrows: #hilssays "I think we should take them all down"

#hilssays "I think we should take them all down"

#hilssays "he looks like a happy pedo"

#hilssays "I'm always confused about what sex he is"

"I wasn't looking at it [the porn site] I was just spreading the love" #hilssays

#hilssays "I quite like it two against one!"

#hilssays "there's nothing wrong bull's bile!"

"coming for a quickie stu?" #hilssays

"No-one shaves on a hump day" #hilssays

correction: @lpbarrows #hilssays "[so] when it's a girl it's stalking, when it's a guy it's not[?]". Note, question not a statement!

#hilssays "when it's girls it's stalking, when it's guys it's not"

"i've still got a bit of lee left in me" #hilssays

#hilssays "i'm not obsessed with twitter"

Its like a donought, you want to lick it #hilssays

@wonkenstein "what's that on your lips?" to @lergik #hilssays

Come on you know you want it #hilssays

Trouble with all these mirrors is you can't pull your cock out #hilssays

'I go to hooters for the food, and I read playboy for the articles. Seriously.' Thanks to #hilssays

Information of vital importance: http://www.whenisthenextbankholiday.com/ #hilssays

Information of vital importance: http://www.whenisthenextbankholiday.com/ #hilssays

#hilssays "but you don't do it with the affection Pete has "

#hilssays I wont do it because you'll pull my hood

"someone was sucking her off" #hilssays

#hilssays "...if you fucked your niece"

#hilssays "there was no drugs, it was just a happy happy night!"

#hilssays "all my shoes were piled up"

#hilssays "I don't remember, I fell asleep and was woken up by the guy asking for money"

#hilssays "where's your helmet?"

#hilssays "get some more nuts down your throat!"

There's too much girth in that [iPhone] #hilssays

#hilssays "wogan works"

#hilssays its amazing how difficult it is to do things with one hand!

RT @how_odd #hilssays RT @lergik: Realised I don't have the legs for roll ups... unlike @how_odd

#hilssays "you'll have to kill him, then you can dance again"

#hilssays "my lumps, my lovely lady lumps. Check 'em out"

#hilssays "If I were to wear a skirt..."

#hilssays "I can always just take my top off for you dave"

RT @lergik Femidoms with teeth to rip-up the penises of a rapist http://bit.ly/9XeHAk #hilssays

#hilssays let's go down one by one

#hilssays "that's a big knob!"

#hilssays "its not aquatic marine, its teal!"

#hilssays "it happens in spermworld..."

#hilssays "There's a whole website about me shooting of random things, don't you know!""

#hilssays go on, give it to her! Give it to her!

I keep hearing paedos and they scare me. #hilssays

#hilssays whose blonde hair do i have?

omg @lpbarrows carries paedo-currency with him! #hilssays

RT @lergik: Said magnum gold dog turd stain still hasn't shifted http://yfrog.com/3vigmj #hilssays

#hilssays "it's not a good stain. it's got to be the worst stain i've ever had"

#hilssays "I got him three times in the arse'

"The people who read #hilssays are very discerning about their shit" #lpbsays

"That's already a #hilssays!" #hilssays

#hilssays "you don't need a pass for the backside"

"Paedo-bear, I love paedo-bear" #hilssays

"You guys were tucked around the corner in some sort of paedo room" #hilssays

#hilssays I'm touching my cock.

#hilssays You want my underwear? I'll give it to you.

#hilssays "you put your Dick in and it explodes"

#hilssays "its amazing how easily you can ruin someone's life"

#hilssays "oh spit it out woman!"

#hilssays "its just too much meat!"

#hilssays "every woman has a holster"

#hilssays "it doesn't work if you put it in your pants, it moves around!"

"I just put my finger in there and get it started" #hilssays

"Erasure soundtrack, awesome!" #hilssays

#hilssays "you talkin' about bra sizes"

#hilssays "bend over, he came and he went"

#hilssays "you scrub up well!"

This place actually smells of human turd #hilssays

Sausage roll? Packet of polos? What is that you want? Talk to me... #hilssays

RT @lpbarrows: #hilssays "oh shit, boobs!"

#hilssays "oh shit, boobs!"

#hilssays "I need more cardis in my life"

Is that why your face is like that? #hilssays

#hilssays "its a bit gloopy, but it goes down well!"

#hilssays "I did touch that, but it's not working!"

@lergik "i haven't got a webcam, but that doesn't mean I can't spy on other people" #hilssays

RT @lpbarrows: @lergik #hilssays "Whose balls are these?"

@lergik #hilssays "Whose balls are these?"

Who'd have thought that #hilssays (http://bit.ly/awGkUy) would actually help with real work problems? lol

@lergik #hilssays "my helmet! my helmet! someone's stolen my helmet! "

@lergik #hilssays "she told her about my chillies and she came for a look around"

@lergik #hilssays "you can't beat a 1950s woman"

@lergik #hilssays "I keep falling down that crack!"

#hilssays "oh no, I've got beer on my cardi"

#hilssays "hey Jonathan, that arse thing, I like it!"

#hilssays "erection, its not a one man job..."

#hilssays "@martinuttley loves a bit of dp"

@lergik "the rape thing was taken out of context" #hilssays

#hilssays "that's what I said"

@lergik #hilssays "ah, it all started with the jerk off..."

#hilssays don't touch my face with a popadom! (via @galbus)

#hilssays "It was all kind of limp this morning" ...nice

"Now is the time for abuse." #hilssays

i'm not fond of pink, i'm fond of hot pink! #hilssays

@lergik #hilssays "I'm eating a feotus"

@lergik #hilssays "its amazing what you can get for a rape these days"

@lergik #hilssays "the guys in Egypt came onto me"

#hilssays "when you're stalking someone you don't say 'no strings attached'. It's a rookie mistake!"

#hilssays "I like shiny leggings!!"

@lpbarrows I can't believe he's still at it #hilssays

(via @gonf) #hilssays "Do you think i'm delicious?"

@lergik #hilssays "Do you think Daisy Duck is hot?"

@lergik "I'll delete it if you let me take a picture of your lips!" #hilssays

@lergik "what's your problem woman, just take it!" #hilssays

@lergik "it makes me look bad on the rape thing, I'm glad the jerk off thing's not up there!" #hilssays

@lergik "who wants my cherry?" #hilssays

@bry0nic - he's gone all shy on us! #hilssays

say something, say something! http://bit.ly/cLldRO #hilssays

Special day in the office http://tinyurl.com/yfetqzw now everyone can find out what #hilssays

@lpbarrows genius! Here's one for today: "Boss Tossing: it's a game" #hilssays

@lergik "I like my pink one!" #hilssays

"I'm fed up of the office/cyber bullying" #hilssays

more @lergik gold "i dunno, it was more of a rape than a rant!" #hilssays

RT @lpbarrows: @lergik "kiss Chase? is that like rape Chase?" #hilssays

@lergik "kiss Chase? is that like rape Chase?" #hilssays

@lergik "I've seen a fat woman shitting against a tree!" #hilssays

RT @lpbarrows: "I'm trying to get rid of a penis" #hilssays

"I'm trying to get rid of a penis" #hilssays

don't forget everyone, there's a new twitter tag in use #hilssays for those classic words of wisdom...

"I bruise like a peach" #hilssays

"you can lick cream and shit off other blokes bellys" #hilssays @lergik gold!

Someone likes a nice Lambrini beverage. That someone is @lergik #hilssays